In a world that often confuses submission with weakness and influence with control, it’s easy to forget the profound power God has given to wives. Not the kind of power that demands or dominates—but the quiet strength that shapes hearts, families, and even legacies.

If you’re reading this as a a wife-to-be or already been married for some time, I want to gently remind you: your influence matters more than you think.

Your Influence Is Inevitable—But, Is It Intentional?

From the very beginning, women have had influence. Think of Sarah, who encouraged Abraham to have a child with Hagar (Genesis 16:1–3). Her suggestion was acted on—and it created generational consequences. Or Rebekah, who orchestrated Jacob receiving the blessing meant for Esau (Genesis 24:14). Her influence shaped a nation.

These stories aren’t here to shame or frighten us. They’re written to show us something: a wife’s voice holds weight. Whether it’s spoken softly or not at all, it matters. That’s why it’s so important to steward that voice well.

 

Everyday Moments, Eternal Impact

Today, your influence might not be over kings or nations, but it’s present—in the way you speak about your husband to your children, in the respect you show him even when you disagree, and in the atmosphere you create in your home.

• • When you CHOOSE to encourage instead of criticise, you’re building him up (Ephesians 5:33).

• • When you pray instead of pressure, you invite God into your marriage.
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  • When you honor him in front of others, you show your children what love and unity look like.

 

Influence Gone Unchecked

The Bible also shows what happens when influence is misused. Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, was led astray by the foreign wives he married (1 Kings 11:2). His downfall began not with rebellion, but with compromise—one influenced by the women he loved.

Then there’s the story of Queen Vashti in Esther 1:15. When she refused to appear before King Xerxes to display her beauty to a room full of men, her defiance led to a royal decree urging wives to honor their husbands to preserve order in the empire. While her situation reflects the dynamics of a very different time—one that could certainly be seen as oppressive or even abusive by today’s standards—it also shows the magnitude of a wife’s actions. Vashti’s decision, whether seen as courageous or rebellious, sent ripples through an entire kingdom.

The takeaway isn’t to silence a wife’s voice, but to understand this truth: our choices as women matter deeply. Whether we’re speaking up like Vashti, or quietly influencing like many others in Scripture, we shape the world around us.

 

Submission Isn’t Silence

Ephesians 5:22–24 encourages wives to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord. This isn’t about losing your voice—it’s about using your influence in alignment with God’s heart. And the very next verses (Ephesians 5:25–30) show how a husband is called to love his wife as Christ loved the church—sacrificially, tenderly, and with deep care.

This is a beautiful dance, not a power struggle.

In 1 Peter 3:7, husbands are instructed to treat their wives with honor “as the weaker vessel” (which many scholars agree refers to physical strength, not value), and to recognize them as co-heirs of the grace of life. This tells us that our influence isn’t second-rate—it’s sacred.

 

A Modern-Day Reminder

Let’s bring it into today. Think of a wife who always jokes about her husband being “useless” around the house. Harmless? Maybe. But over time, those words chip away at a man’s confidence. Now think of another wife, who privately tells her husband how proud she is of his hard work—even when things are tight. One man feels diminished, the other empowered.

Your influence doesn’t require a platform. It begins around the dinner table, in text messages, in the way you pray for him when no one sees.

 

So What Do We Do With This?

1. • Pray for wisdom. Ask God to show you where your influence is strong, and where it may need realignment.
   • Speak life. Choose words that build, not break. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us that “life and death are in the power of the tongue.”
   • Lead with love. Influence isn’t manipulation. It’s rooted in love, respect, and humility.
   • Remember the bigger picture. You’re not just loving a man—you’re shaping a home, modeling godly marriage for your children, and walking in obedience to the God who designed marriage in the first place.

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In Closing

Ephesians 5:31–33 reminds us that marriage is a reflection of Christ and the Church. It’s not always easy, but it’s always sacred.

Wife, your influence is real. It’s shaping your husband, your home, and your future. May you wield it with wisdom, tenderness, and reverence for the God who entrusted it to you.